I have read about people choosing words to set the tone for their year. I have considered doing it in years past, but I just never felt like it was necessary or even particularly helpful - for me, at least. But the older I get, the more I value focus and productivity, the more it dawns on me that I don't have forever to create my legacy, the more I am drawn to the concept of choosing a word - just one word - to guide an entire year.
A year is a long time, you guys. They go so fast, but they hold so much. So many precious seconds. We use them to measure our careers, our relationships, our lives. There is a reason we celebrate anniversaries. Years are important. And if choosing a word can potentially help me focus more, live with increased intention, and overall just be better, well, then maybe, I decided, it might not hurt to choose a word.
And so I thought. And I thought. And I thought. And two words came to mind repeatedly. Words that in some ways are almost complete opposites - or so I believed.
Those two words? Relax. And Wild.
WILD? Why in the world was I even considering using the word "Wild" to define my year?! Like that's even necessary? You're all probably thinking, "Um, Star, do you really think it's a good idea to invite more wild OF ANY TYPE in your life?" Hell. NO.
So I focused on the word "Relax" and how it was going to define my 2019. How I was going to practice being calm. How I was going to go to yoga more. How I was going to sit my butt on the couch and watch sports with Dan and NOT get up and go do those dishes (until 8:45 p.m. because a) my nightly routine says so and b) never ever ever go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink - argue all you want - I swear by this rule). Relax was going to be my word and I was going to do it and I was going to help others do it and I was going to write all about it and, and, and....
But I couldn't quite commit to it. I couldn't see where it was going...because the word "Wild" just kept popping up in front of it. And I thought, "Well, crap." Because 1) I know where wild goes. It goes to Texas and law school and goats. I don't have the energy for wild anymore. And I know Dan doesn't. I can see him shaking his head already. Absolutely couldn't be the plan. No way. We just aren't wild people. We are old, tired people who do some really fun, cool things - in a very structured way and in LIMITED DOSES. And 2) I don't want to scare anyone. I knew the word I chose for 2019 had to be something I could share, something I could write about, something that my friends and family could support. And wild? Um, no. I cannot see my mom or Dan's mom going, "Sure, Star! You just go wild this year. Sounds great. How can we help?" (To be fair, they say that about LOTS of other things, but going wild? I think they would be asking the same questions I asked a couple paragraphs up.
Well, then, I thought, ok, let's just forget the word thing. I don't need one word. I have lots of words to guide my year. But by then, I knew I couldn't just shake it off. I kept hearing this nagging little voice saying, "Just look it up. You're missing something. This is your word this year. Trust me."
So I looked it up. I'm not going to repost the entire definition from Webster's. You can read it in its entirety here. But I am going to share with you pieces of what I found. The pieces that made my heart beat fast. The pieces that gave me chills. The pieces that thanked that little voice for pushing me back to this word time and time and time again.
Wild. Adjective.
Definition of wild.
Not subject to restraint or regulation.
Passionately eager or enthusiastic.
Going beyond normal or conventional bounds.
Indicative of strong passion, desire, or emotion.
Deviating from the intended or expected course.
Let's be honest here. I left out the parts that said "uncivilized, barbaric" and the like. Because no. No one needs a year like that.
But a year with passionate enthusiasm? A year to deviate, even if just a bit, from the intended or expected course - and to be okay with that? A year in which it was okay to feel, even if only in rare scattered moments, not subject to restraint or regulation? Do I need a year like that? And if the answer is yes, what does that year look like? Because I'm sorry - a year of abandoned responsibilities, dirty dishes, and instability for myself and/or my family? Absolutely no way. That kind of wild can't be my kind of wild.
But what about a year of pushing my own limits? A year of taking a risk or two, albeit however small? That doesn't sound so bad.
What about a year of finding something about which I am passionately eager and making it a priority? Taking time for an exciting new interest or developing a new project? Even if it means that one night - just one - I forget about those dishes or leave the laundry for the next day? What if it turns out (and I think it just might) that sitting down and watching a movie or a football game with my family makes them feel loved and important? And in turn, those smiling faces make me feel "strong emotion"? You guys....this almost sounds like....I'm relaxing.
We define our own wild. And this year? I'm finding mine.
📷: free stock photo - not mine
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